It has been my experience that most people do not actually want advice. They want to be told that what they have already decided is correct.
I used to try to "fix" everybody and everything. Now I have another approach - unasked for advice is unheeded advice.
If someone doesn't ask. I don't offer. Sometimes I won't even actually give advice when people ask unless I'm pretty darn sure they really want it. Too many people have gotten mad at me when I gave them the advice they asked for.
All of of us have blind spots. Areas we just cannot see clearly in. I have them. You have them.
It doesn't diminish our value to have a blind spot. It's just part of being human.
We can deny the law of gravity all day but it will always pull us down when we step off the edge of a cliff. If my blind spot has me heading for the edge - I need to know.
A great friend would be one who loves you enough to totally believe in you and your potential but would also be willing to tell you the truth. Because they love you.
People don't want your "truth" if you don't love them. Some people feel called to straighten everyone out. Forget that. Jesus said something about having a log in my eye and spotting a speck in your eye.
Don't go around dispensing advice to everyone now. But do have someone who loves you, believes in you and is willing to tell you the truth. Falling off a cliff is not fun.
But that's only my advice ......
6 comments
brilliant!
Posted on March 22, 2007 at 9:19 PM
It’s so true, great friends know how to balance love and truth-----------much easier to hear truth from a friend who deposits more into the relationship than they withdraw.
Posted on March 23, 2007 at 8:14 AM
Blind Spot??? What blind spot??? I don't see any blind spot.....
Oh yeah, it's a BLIND spot!!!
Posted on March 23, 2007 at 11:10 AM
"To thine own self be true."
You have always said to beware of deceiving yourSELF... It has been a blessing when I have remembered that and listened while someone I love points OUT my blind spot...and it has been distastrous when I have chosen my own deception.
The TRUTH always brings freedom...
Rock ON!
Posted on March 24, 2007 at 4:35 PM
really good, if you've preached this in church...I was out that day.
Posted on March 28, 2007 at 12:15 PM
I love elderly people. I will take time that I don't have to help someone who is old enough to be my grandparent navigate through the 21st century.
They always have a story. They always have advice. They always have an opinion. And, yah, most people hate them for it.
But, I love the fact that they're willing to take responsibility for a young person like me and tell me how it is.
I don't generally offer advice unless it is asked for either. I don't know that I have much advice to give.
If I was older, I think I might feel a sense of obligation to give advice to those who are coming after me.
The Bible is full of prophets and people who gave advice and council and were hated for it.
I understand not fixing people, but I don't get not being assertive. Isn't that what leaders do?
Posted on April 1, 2007 at 2:51 PM